A LETTER FROM A DESPERATE BUSINESS
Dear Uncle TM, 
After years and years of hard work I have finally had an idea that will make me a millionaire! I have had it patented so I don’t mind telling you about it and I know that will kick yourself for not thinking of it first. What I have developed is a technique that attaches two toilet paper rolls together and it makes them into a set of binoculars. The beauty of the plan is that the materials cost virtually nothing and I know that they will be perfect for the Christmas shopping season. After I had developed and patented the idea I realized that I would need to set up a manufacturing facility to handle all of the orders. To solve that problem I made an appearance on one of those TV shows where zillionaires decide whether to back you on a business deal or not. I wasn’t really surprised when every one of them wanted in on the deal and they gave me a bunch of money to set up shop. I hired the best Industrial Engineer I could find to design the manufacturing facility and a few days ago, after hiring an assembly line production crew, I ran into a problem that may very well shatter my dreams. Uncle TM the toilet paper manufactures have changed the size of the roll by making it a good half inch shorter. I have spent all the money the zillionaires have given me so I can’t afford to rebuild or retool the factory. Do you have any suggestions because I am afraid that my business is going to go down the toilet? 
Signed, 
My Ship Came In 
Dear My Ship Came In, 
You did not mention in your letter where you planned to come up with all the toilet paper rolls. I only hope that you were looking to sources outside of your immediate family. However, let me address your problem. It is true that the toilet paper manufacturers have reduced the actual size of the roll while maintaining the appearance of the old rolls. They were in deep financial trouble and had to come up with some way to cover their tails. That being said, I do have a solution for your problem. Stacked on my desk are letters from individuals who are suffering from OCTPRRD (Obsessive Compulsive Toilet Paper Roll Retention Disorder). Their problem has caused them to build an almost unbelievable inventory of toilet paper rolls in the old size. While they refuse to throw them away, I know that they will be more than willing to give them away. In fact I have taken the liberty to communicate with all of them and I am sure that the rolls will be arriving at your factory in short order and you will be able to complete your Christmas orders and be left with enough money to retool your facility.