Dear Uncle TM,
I am really tired of being a blond but I am afraid that if I don’t get rid of my blond roots all the hair color in the world won’t change me. I know that a dentist can do root canals so is there someone who can help me get rid of my blond roots?
Signed,
Root’in and Toot’in
Dear Root and Toot,
I’m afraid that I have some really bad news for you. I checked with a tree stump removal company and they confirmed my belief that blond roots are similar to tree roots. By that I mean, both run deep and provide the life blood that forms the essence of the being. Consequently, getting rid of them can only be accomplished by serious plucking or in tree stump terms, pulling them out. You will have to be extremely diligent otherwise in just a few weeks your head will be covered with little blond seedlings.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
A LETTER ABOUT SMOK’IN
Dear Uncle TM,
My wife and I were watching some old movies the other night and memories of my life started coming back and it almost overwhelmed me. The big thing that I noticed was all of the really sophisticated men were smoking and I got to thinking that I would really like to take it up again. The only problem that I can see is that I remember how difficult it was for me to get started and I can only imagine that since I haven’t smoked in almost a decade it might be hard again. So Uncle TM I was wondering if I started off with those nicotine patches except in reverse would it make my reentry into the sophisticated world easier?
Signed,
Smok’in Joe
Dear Smok’in Joe,
Being sophisticated in this dog eat dog world is really difficult. Rather than spending a bunch of money on nicotine patches I think you would be better off going back into the same closet that you smoked in for all those years after you told your wife that you had quit. Start off slow but I assure you that it is almost like learning to swim after you got out of the sack your daddy put you in – you never really forget.
My wife and I were watching some old movies the other night and memories of my life started coming back and it almost overwhelmed me. The big thing that I noticed was all of the really sophisticated men were smoking and I got to thinking that I would really like to take it up again. The only problem that I can see is that I remember how difficult it was for me to get started and I can only imagine that since I haven’t smoked in almost a decade it might be hard again. So Uncle TM I was wondering if I started off with those nicotine patches except in reverse would it make my reentry into the sophisticated world easier?
Signed,
Smok’in Joe
Dear Smok’in Joe,
Being sophisticated in this dog eat dog world is really difficult. Rather than spending a bunch of money on nicotine patches I think you would be better off going back into the same closet that you smoked in for all those years after you told your wife that you had quit. Start off slow but I assure you that it is almost like learning to swim after you got out of the sack your daddy put you in – you never really forget.
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