Saturday, April 17, 2010

A LETTER ABOUT COLD TURKEY

Dear Uncle TM,
I have been trying to quit smoking for years and years and I know that everybody keeps saying that the only real way to quit is to quit cold turkey. Now I know that I will probably make another New Year’s resolution this year but in my heart I just know that I won’t be able to give up cold turkey especially when they use Grandma’s recipe for cold turkey salad. Uncle TM is their anyway I could stop smoking without giving up my turkey?
Signed,
Winston

Dear Winston,
I too had the same problem with smoking and turkey. I tried just about everything I could think of to get around giving up the turkey. I went to group hypnosis sessions, got addicted to stop smoking drugs and even tried smoking lettuce but none of that worked. Finally after a big Thanksgiving dinner I was trying to put the turkey scraps down the garbage disposal and the turkey clogged up all my drains and I had to spend a fortune on a plumber in the middle of Thanksgiving Day. Winston, that hit me so hard in the pocket book I gathered together the strength to never touch a turkey again. Within the week I was able to stop smoking and for that I can thank an overly plump Butterball. So take my word for it, if you give up cold turkey, you can quit those demon cigarettes (maybe).
When it seems that your life is without hope and direction, you need to either write to Uncle TM for comprehensive and compassionate advice at TMSharp@gmail.com or check out his book, “Uncle TM’s Advice to the Forlorn and Desperate”. Light and humorous, the book will show you that when compared to others, your problems are few! Go to www.uncletm.com

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