Dear Uncle TM,
Most of my life I have been wasting money. I think that it goes back to when I was a kid and when I would use more paper towels than I should my Dad would tell my Mom that I was a “Conspicuous Consumer”. I really didn’t know what that meant but from that time on I would spend everything that I had and more. Uncle TM it sent me down the road to ruin. Is there anything I can do or am I destined to become a permanent resident of the Poorest House?
Signed,
Buck
Dear Buck,
You are in luck! The new administration has sponsored a bill called The Wasted Money Recovery Act. All you have to do to get all that money back is to show that it really wasn’t your fault and how much you have washed down the drain plus interest. My legal experts tell me that your letter will suffice as sufficient evidence that you wanted to be a responsible citizen but that your Dad was really to blame for your overzealous spending. I am also told that it is recognized that many people have a difficult time with recovery. For that reason, if you fall off the wagon and waste your new found wealth, you can reapply for a new stimulus.
When it seems that your life is without hope and direction, you need to either write to Uncle TM for comprehensive and compassionate advice or check out his book, “Uncle TM’s Advice to the Forlorn and Desperate”. In it you will find that when compared to others, your problems are few! Go to www.uncletm.com
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