Dear Uncle TM,
Since I know the government is looking for ways to save money in order to spend money on other things, I got to thinking. From everything that I read the average reading level for people in this country is just about the eighth grade. For some it is more and for others it is less. Anyway Uncle TM I figure that most of the money we spend for grades 9 through 12 is wasted because if they aren’t going to be able to understand it why should we keep on trying to feed it to them? It is like leading a horse to water and trying to make it drink when it doesn’t want to. Anyway it was just a thought.
Signed,
Anna Conda
Dear Anna,
I can tell that you are thinking outside the box but the bitter truth is that you need to crawl back inside the box. First, it is true that you would “save” money on education but all of the high school teachers would have to get government assistance or get a grant to go back to school. Second, America’s weight problem would explode because all of the idle teenagers would demand more and more fast food. And finally, while it is true that the reading level does average out at the 8th grade, it takes our system 12 years to get it up to 8. Sorry.
When it seems that your life is without hope and direction, you need to either write to Uncle TM at http://uncletm.blogspot.com for comprehensive and compassionate advice. If you want to enjoy lignt, humorous reading check out Uncle TM’s book, “Uncle TM’s Advice to the Forlorn and Desperate” at www.uncletm.com.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
A LETTER ABOUT AGE OLD OLDER AGE
Dear Uncle TM,
My husband and I are what they call first time home buyers so we are fairly new to the housing game. Anyway we picked up several of those real estate magazines and started watching one of those shows where they roll through all the houses in the area. What struck me as odd was that I would see any number of agents that looked like they had just gotten out of high school yet under their picture they were saying that they had over 30 years experience in the business. Uncle TM do they know some kind of youth formula that I am not aware of and if they do wouldn’t they make more money selling that stuff instead of real estate?
Signed,
Renting but looking
Dear Renting but looking,
Advertising is like hair. As you may recall in your high school science courses, the shaft of the hair on your head is dead. That is why it doesn’t hurt when you cut it. Yet at the same time when you watch TV you are told that what you really need is a healthy head of hair. So you are probably wondering, how can you be healthy and dead at the same time? The answer is that with the right conditioning and a little photo shop even a well seasoned professional can look like a spring chicken with a “healthy” head of deceased hair.
When it seems that your life is without hope and direction, you need to either write to Uncle TM for comprehensive and compassionate advice or check out his book, “Uncle TM’s Advice to the Forlorn and Desperate”. In it you will find that when compared to others, your problems are few! Go to www.uncletm.com
My husband and I are what they call first time home buyers so we are fairly new to the housing game. Anyway we picked up several of those real estate magazines and started watching one of those shows where they roll through all the houses in the area. What struck me as odd was that I would see any number of agents that looked like they had just gotten out of high school yet under their picture they were saying that they had over 30 years experience in the business. Uncle TM do they know some kind of youth formula that I am not aware of and if they do wouldn’t they make more money selling that stuff instead of real estate?
Signed,
Renting but looking
Dear Renting but looking,
Advertising is like hair. As you may recall in your high school science courses, the shaft of the hair on your head is dead. That is why it doesn’t hurt when you cut it. Yet at the same time when you watch TV you are told that what you really need is a healthy head of hair. So you are probably wondering, how can you be healthy and dead at the same time? The answer is that with the right conditioning and a little photo shop even a well seasoned professional can look like a spring chicken with a “healthy” head of deceased hair.
When it seems that your life is without hope and direction, you need to either write to Uncle TM for comprehensive and compassionate advice or check out his book, “Uncle TM’s Advice to the Forlorn and Desperate”. In it you will find that when compared to others, your problems are few! Go to www.uncletm.com
Friday, August 21, 2009
A LETTER ABOUT PRD
Dear Uncle TM,
I suffer from PRD which is commonly known as Pack Rat Disorder. It seems that I just can’t bring myself to get rid of things. I have literally made my husband build a bigger house just to satisfy my disorder. It is so bad Uncle TM that when I bring myself to throw something away I find myself out at the trash can within an hour getting it back. Last week I tried to cancel my trash service but the city wouldn’t let me without also cutting off my water. This has gotten really depressing because we don’t walk through our house, we crawl over it.
Signed,
PRDer
Dear PRDer,
I think you really need to look on the positive side of things because often times the good out weighs the bad. For example, just last week the President of the United States basically said that if you look at Fed Ex and UPS, they are doing alright but then the Post Office is another story. By that example we can see that two positives can overcome one negative. In your situation with the PRD, you have to think of the good that you are doing by helping a builder and any relative who visits you won’t have to stay very long. The only negative I can see is all the money you wasted on that new vacuum.
When it seems that your life is without hope and direction, you need to either write to Uncle TM for comprehensive and compassionate advice or check out his book, “Uncle TM’s Advice to the Forlorn and Desperate”. In it you will find that when compared to others, your problems are few! Go to www.uncletm.com
I suffer from PRD which is commonly known as Pack Rat Disorder. It seems that I just can’t bring myself to get rid of things. I have literally made my husband build a bigger house just to satisfy my disorder. It is so bad Uncle TM that when I bring myself to throw something away I find myself out at the trash can within an hour getting it back. Last week I tried to cancel my trash service but the city wouldn’t let me without also cutting off my water. This has gotten really depressing because we don’t walk through our house, we crawl over it.
Signed,
PRDer
Dear PRDer,
I think you really need to look on the positive side of things because often times the good out weighs the bad. For example, just last week the President of the United States basically said that if you look at Fed Ex and UPS, they are doing alright but then the Post Office is another story. By that example we can see that two positives can overcome one negative. In your situation with the PRD, you have to think of the good that you are doing by helping a builder and any relative who visits you won’t have to stay very long. The only negative I can see is all the money you wasted on that new vacuum.
When it seems that your life is without hope and direction, you need to either write to Uncle TM for comprehensive and compassionate advice or check out his book, “Uncle TM’s Advice to the Forlorn and Desperate”. In it you will find that when compared to others, your problems are few! Go to www.uncletm.com
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
A LETTER ABOUT PLEASING EVERYBODY
Dear Uncle TM,
I think we need to come up with a way to please everybody or at least the people who are having trouble today with the way the economy is. I have thought and thought and I know that all the guys in Washington are thinking all the time for a way to make everybody happy but no one has come up with a solution. Uncle TM do you have any ideas?
Signed,
Concerned Citizen
Dear Concerned Citizen,
The way to please everyone is really quite simple. All we need to do is to print our currency on smaller pieces of paper. First, this will allow the government to print more money at a lower printing cost. Second, by printing more money more people will be able to get their economic stimulus. Third, it will please the environmentalists who are concerned about the trees. Fourth, it will provide jobs by the need to remake and install all of the change machines in the country. Fifth, it will save on energy because all of the old money could be burned to generate electricity. See wasn’t that simple?
When it seems that your life is without hope and direction, you need to either write to Uncle TM for comprehensive and compassionate advice or check out his book, “Uncle TM’s Advice to the Forlorn and Desperate”. In it you will find that when compared to others, your problems are few! Go to www.uncletm.com
I think we need to come up with a way to please everybody or at least the people who are having trouble today with the way the economy is. I have thought and thought and I know that all the guys in Washington are thinking all the time for a way to make everybody happy but no one has come up with a solution. Uncle TM do you have any ideas?
Signed,
Concerned Citizen
Dear Concerned Citizen,
The way to please everyone is really quite simple. All we need to do is to print our currency on smaller pieces of paper. First, this will allow the government to print more money at a lower printing cost. Second, by printing more money more people will be able to get their economic stimulus. Third, it will please the environmentalists who are concerned about the trees. Fourth, it will provide jobs by the need to remake and install all of the change machines in the country. Fifth, it will save on energy because all of the old money could be burned to generate electricity. See wasn’t that simple?
When it seems that your life is without hope and direction, you need to either write to Uncle TM for comprehensive and compassionate advice or check out his book, “Uncle TM’s Advice to the Forlorn and Desperate”. In it you will find that when compared to others, your problems are few! Go to www.uncletm.com
Monday, August 17, 2009
A LETTER ABOUT VISION
Dear Uncle TM,
I have always been able to see very well. In fact, you might say that I have super vision and I can sure see a lot better than my mother. The other day when she was talking to my Aunt Looney (that is not her real name but that is how she acts most of the time) she said that all I needed was a little super vision. Uncle TM, where is she coming from? You would think that if she knows anyone, she would know me.
Signed,
Almost Thirteen
Dear Almost Thirteen,
You have to realize that your mother is much older than you and that she suffers from what has been called “The Reverse Knowledge Bell Curve”. By that I mean from the day you were born her general knowledge started to decrease and unfortunately it will continue for a few more years before it bottoms out. Then slowly she will start to regain knowledge until she is barely back to your level of knowledge and understanding. Good luck on your super vision. I heard that they are expecting some job openings soon on 20/20.
When it seems that your life is without hope and direction, you need to either write to Uncle TM for comprehensive and compassionate advice or check out his book, “Uncle TM’s Advice to the Forlorn and Desperate”. In it you will find that when compared to others, your problems are few! Go to www.uncletm.com
I have always been able to see very well. In fact, you might say that I have super vision and I can sure see a lot better than my mother. The other day when she was talking to my Aunt Looney (that is not her real name but that is how she acts most of the time) she said that all I needed was a little super vision. Uncle TM, where is she coming from? You would think that if she knows anyone, she would know me.
Signed,
Almost Thirteen
Dear Almost Thirteen,
You have to realize that your mother is much older than you and that she suffers from what has been called “The Reverse Knowledge Bell Curve”. By that I mean from the day you were born her general knowledge started to decrease and unfortunately it will continue for a few more years before it bottoms out. Then slowly she will start to regain knowledge until she is barely back to your level of knowledge and understanding. Good luck on your super vision. I heard that they are expecting some job openings soon on 20/20.
When it seems that your life is without hope and direction, you need to either write to Uncle TM for comprehensive and compassionate advice or check out his book, “Uncle TM’s Advice to the Forlorn and Desperate”. In it you will find that when compared to others, your problems are few! Go to www.uncletm.com
Saturday, August 15, 2009
A LETTER ABOUT LIARS
Dear Uncle TM,
People are such big liars. They are always saying things like they are going the run to the bathroom, run to the store or run over to a neighbors. Then when you watch them the last thing that they even really thought of doing was running anywhere. I wish we were back in the days when the truth meant something. Uncle TM is there anything that I can do to get over my obsession against big liars?
Signed,
Polly Anna
Dear Polly Anna,
When I was a little boy my father in his desire to rid me of my fear of swimming taught me that if you can overcome the gunny sack that surrounds you, you can then learn to swim among the sharks of life. For that reason Polly I am urging you to stop walking around the problems that are facing our nation and truly run for office. When you win, and I am sure that you will, you will be able to confront some of the really big liars and be able to put them into the liars den of sin.
When it seems that your life is without hope and direction, you need to either write to Uncle TM for comprehensive and compassionate advice or check out his book, “Uncle TM’s Advice to the Forlorn and Desperate”. In it you will find that when compared to others, your problems are few! Go to
People are such big liars. They are always saying things like they are going the run to the bathroom, run to the store or run over to a neighbors. Then when you watch them the last thing that they even really thought of doing was running anywhere. I wish we were back in the days when the truth meant something. Uncle TM is there anything that I can do to get over my obsession against big liars?
Signed,
Polly Anna
Dear Polly Anna,
When I was a little boy my father in his desire to rid me of my fear of swimming taught me that if you can overcome the gunny sack that surrounds you, you can then learn to swim among the sharks of life. For that reason Polly I am urging you to stop walking around the problems that are facing our nation and truly run for office. When you win, and I am sure that you will, you will be able to confront some of the really big liars and be able to put them into the liars den of sin.
When it seems that your life is without hope and direction, you need to either write to Uncle TM for comprehensive and compassionate advice or check out his book, “Uncle TM’s Advice to the Forlorn and Desperate”. In it you will find that when compared to others, your problems are few! Go to
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)